I am so sorry, so very sorry, if you understand the soul-sucking existence I’m referring to. We convince ourselves that LA has highs and lows just like any other place, but must understand that this is incorrect. There are far, far better places in the civilized world where people do not train themselves to be fake, where desperateness and fear are not rewarded, people don’t fail upward nearly so quickly if at all and the isolation that defines LA is non-existent. It is time to begin creating viable film markets elsewhere before we spend our best years preparing for a whole life tariff in solitary, demented by the wraith-like gatekeepers who lord their Catch-22s over artist’s heads while exemplifying nothing. “Allow me to take you to lunch at the Ivy while I discuss my limited knowledge of finance and distribution. YOU WILL BE REWARDED, AS I HAVE BEEN REWARDED. See my corporate credit card? It’s awesome. I’m going to Sundance, can’t wait. Yes someone put me in charge. Maybe I have a business degree. Clearly I am fit to decide on the nature of what messaging is distributed to the whole world.”

There are millions of artists here. You must fall in line. Just forget what makes you unique, forget what you want to impart about the human experience and instead participate jubilantly in the artificial. Do it, or I promise you will be driven mad by the unwavering system.